Chinese Silverware

Here’s another annoyance. Chinese food places always give you two pieces of silverware. A fork and a spoon. Why a fork and a spoon? Where’s my knife? Every meal I have to make a special point to ask for a knife. In every other way, Chinese food places rock. Do you know why? Service. You can waltz in with torn jeans, 3-days of stubble, reeking like the sewer, and they’ll still treat you like an honored guest. Except for the silverware.

I think they want you to use chopsticks. It’s only in a nod to Western culture they even include a fork and spoon. But if they’re going that far, where’s the knife? Don’t Aisans ever need to cut anything? Have you seen the size of those broccoli pieces? Chopsticks don’t cut anything. Chopsticks stink. I don’t care how cool it is to be able to use them, they’re stupid. Once your society passes the phase where you have to rely on bamboo for your flatware, it’s time to upgrade to actual utensils.

Give me a knife!

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  • the brother in question says:

    Why are you so angry at the Chinese and chinese animals tonight?

    I’m guessing that when you were at the Chinese restaurant tonight, you asked for a knife and they said “no!” – but there was a PANDA at the next table, and when he asked for a knife, they said, “of course, cute furry honored guest.” So he got his knife and then he looked over at you & held up the knife and went, “whatchu gonna do”, with the little hand gesture, so now you’re all pissed off, you race home and write angry rants on the internet.

    Your rants are pretty fucking funny, but you shouldn’t let pandas piss you off that much.

  • Gorby says:

    Although I am not quite as upset as Muttrox at the lack of knives at Chinese restaurants, I am in agreement that they should provide them.

    I don’t want to hold up a piece of sesame chicken with my fork and bite off half of it. I want to cut the piece to a normal bite-size, then eat the whole piece.

    If I’m already admitting defeat by being relegated to lowly silverware, the least they can do is make me feel at home with a fork, spoon, and knife.

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