Dec
19
2005

Let the Pandas Die

I am officially sick of hearing anything about pandas. It is not news when a zoo gets a panda. It is not news when one has a baby. They are evolutionary dead-ends that should be left on their own to go extinct.

Just because they have fur does not make them cute. They are not cute. They are big fat oafs.

They are stupid. Breathtakingly stupid. Did you know after the cubs are born, they have to be separated from the mothers? Yes, it’s because the mothers roll over in their sleep and crush their kid. That’s a good evolutionary winning strategy. I guess they’re still waiting for that one mutant gene that says, Hey maybe I shouldn’t kill my kids, wonder if that would work?

How much money do zoos spend on these drooling buffoons? Over a million bucks per panda per year. Why don’t they spend the money on something better? They’re goners. Pandas are goners, wake up and admit it.

And stop playing chinese music in the panda “pavillion”! If you play chinese music for the asian animals, then play AC|DC in the kangaroo pen.

Just let them die already.

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1 Comment »

  • I_Gotcha_Raul says:

    But it’s an economic question. So it costs a million bucks per panda. But how many $ does the panda bring in per year? It’s probably the cover-boy on the ads in newspapers and around town, grabbing attention of toddlers who needle their parents to take them to see that cute chubby bear. It makes the local news (i.e. free advertising) whenever one dies, gives birth, gets sick, etc. It’s got to be a differentiating draw vs. non-panda zoos, at least for some small fraction of people. The zoo gets to sell panda key-chains and dolls and t-shirts. Does this equal a million bucks a year — I don’t know. But I bet it’s a non-trivial amount of $.

    Good rant though, Muttrox. We need more passionate opinions about matters such as these. You’re at your best when you get pissed about this kind of stuff.

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