I coveteth your frenched fries

Recently I went to lunch with a friend from work. We both got the same meal, your basic burger and fries. They were both good, but they didn’t give us nearly enough fries. I’m a quick eater, and my friend had a lot to vent about, so I was done well before him. I was eyeing his food a little — I was still hungry.

Now I’m not a fat man at all, but I do keep an eye on the scale, and do always have to battle myself to not eat too much at a time, and not to eat food just because it’s sitting there. That’s the worst, just the sight of certain foods triggers Pavlovian responses. It probably says something that one of my most popular posts is about proper pizza terminology.

Anyhow, he finished the burger, but left his whole plate of fries. They were just sitting there while he talked. I couldn’t stop looking at them. What do you do?

Option 1) Show some self-restraint, you bloated pig. You just ate a whole meal. You don’t need anymore french fries, you really don’t. You work with him, the last thing you want is a rep as a glutton. Get a hold of yourself. Grow up.

Option 2) Just take some fries. It’s no big deal. He’s not going to eat them, he doesn’t care, why waste them? Grow up.

I went with the self-restraint option. So for the next ten minutes, half my brain conversed, while the other half thought about the french fries, and tried to keep my eyes from constantly going to the plate, and laughing at my lack of willpower, and thinking how hard it was to just not eat someone else’s french fries. It was awful.

But at last the check was paid. I got up to go. And that’s when he said,

“Hold on a second, I want to finish my drink. We’re in no rush.”

Arrrgghhh!