Jan
25
2009

Towns in Massachusetts

One of my relatives in Massachusetts moved to a town called Milford. Filthbag that I am, this made me laugh. The town founders could never have imagined that “Milf” would ever come to mean what it does.

Massachusetts has a lot of towns with funny names. Some of them sound like dirty words (Athol). Some are peoples names (Shirley). Some are named for the founding country and now sound pretentious (Peru). And some are just great sounding names (Seekonk). For no particular reason, the list of names of Massachusetts towns that make me laugh.

Athol
Belchertown
Chester
Cummington
Dennis
Douglas
Dudley
Florida
Goshen
Holland
Lawrence
Littleton
Manchester-by-the-Sea
Milford
Norton
Otis
Pittsfield
Peru
Plainfield and Plainville
Sandwich
Sharon
Shirley
Stow
Swampscott
Wendell

Town names that are fun to say:
Agawam
Chicopee
Cohasset
Worcester
Holyoke
Hopkinton
Ipswich
Rehoboth
Saugus
Seekonk
Shrewsbury
Taunton
Wrentham
Yarmouth

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4 Comments »

  • Michael Weinmayr says:

    Have you ever heard the song “Entering Marion” by John Forster?

    Every year I drive out to Cape Cod for the last part of June.
    Leave the city by ten and you’re there in the late afternoon.
    On the way there’s a village called Marion that you pass through.
    The first time I approached it, I’ll always remember the sign that came into view.

    It said, “Entering Marion.”
    And I thought, “What a fun little sign!”
    But the feeling of entering Marion
    Had a kick that was hard to define…
    A rapturous rush, a physical flush,
    Chills up and down the spine.
    For the few minutes I was in Marion
    All Massachusetts was mine.

    (spoken) Well, it got to be kind of an annual thing…the event that would start each vacation off with a bang!

    Then one year–who knows why?–I decided to try a new route.
    So I got out my map and I traced one I thought was a beaut.
    After driving all morning, I came to the top of a hill,
    Where a sign stood before me that promised a new kind of thrill.

    It said, “Entering Beverly,”
    Which was lovely and not overbuilt.
    And the pleasure of entering Beverly
    Far outweighed any feelings of guilt.
    I could say I’m contrite but it wouldn’t be right,
    For the truth is that later that day,
    I found myself entering Sharon.
    It was there. So was I. We enjoyed it. Hey, what can I say?

    By the next year I’d try any route, just for novelty’s sake.
    I was cursed with a thirst that no single township could slake.
    Oh, at the wheel I looked calm but inside I was running amok,
    When a sign in the road dead ahead sent me straight into shock:

    “Entering Lawrence.”
    My God! I was out of control.
    And I’d no sooner finished with Lawrence
    Than Boom! I was entering Lowell.
    Then I backtracked and re-entered Lawrence,
    Then Quincy and Norton as well.
    Around midnight I pulled into Athol
    And flopped in a fleabag motel.

    I slept fitfully in my clothing
    And awoke in a pool of sweat and self-loathing.
    Lying there, feeling lower than carrion,
    A name came clear as a clarion.
    I jumped in my car
    And before very far–

    I was entering Marion.
    How totally, wonderfully great!
    How grand to be entering Marion
    After tramping all over the state.
    Every sleaze-bucket burb,
    Every tryst by the curb
    Had really just helped me to find
    I’m happiest entering Marion.
    I guess I’m the Marion kind.
    Oh yes, I’m the Marion kind.

  • Matt says:

    Otisberg? OTISberg?? 😉

  • Muttrox says:

    Mike, your knowledge of obscure humorous songs is unparalleled. Well done!

  • FunkSoulCousin says:

    And kudos to Matt for a great Superman: The Movie reference

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