“While you were gone I pissed on your daughter.”
Thus began the email to my wife while she was out of town. It made me laugh even while I was typing it.
I was watching the kids by myself. Our one-year old daughter takes a lot of attention of course. Well I had to go. Really bad. And you know how little kids love toilets! I raced as fast as I could, but by the time I got my pants down she had already crawled over. The stream hadn’t been going but two seconds when she poked up over the bowl and stretched her hands in to feel what was going on.
I was in mid-stream, you can’t stop at that point! I aimed it as far away as I could (real precision work!) – but sure enough, she got her hands in it. So I’d switch to another part of the bowl and she’d move her arms over there. Every time I changed angles to avoid her she moved back. She was laughing as she splashed my urine all over herself. I was mortified out of my mind and chortling at the same time. You can’t pay for father-daughter bonding moments like that.
(Yes, I cleaned her up.)